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Thoughts & Observations: Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)

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This is it. I’ve reached the end of the prequels, the end of the original three (The Holy Trinity of Wars-in-Stars) and I now look forward to the modern take on the seventh installment. It’s been quite a ride folks.

Alternate Titles: Last of the Jedi?

—

  • Today in TL;DR ….another Death Star? Like, the bad guys are ripping off their own idea? Okay, I’ll play along.
  • Dude is obviously more afraid of the Emperor than of Vader, which means Vader is doing something wrong.
  • R2D2 and C3PO look like they’re going to see the Wizard. If the Wizard was a large, slothful, disgusting slug-thing.
  • R2 somehow has the fine ability of lying his way into Jabba’s clutches to get him and Threepio exactly where they need to be, which begs the question: how can everyone understand his random assortment of beeps?!
  • Han Solo. “He’s still in carbonite!” Until Ford gets a pay raise, I assume.
  • Added CG characters are unnecessary in this whole dance scene. Even the dance scene seems like something added in the 90s/2000s as unnecessary movie-lengthening fodder.
  • Green dancer lady gets to meet the Rancor!
  • Jabba comments on the bounty hunter who brings in Chewie. “This bounty hunter is my kind of scum.” Jabba really looks like a mob boss in this scene.
  • Also, that bounty hunter is very dainty. Could that be Leia in disguise? Please be Leia.
  • I don’t know about you guys, but Lando is lookin’ mighty stylish in that helmet.
  • Hibernation sickness=weakness and blindness. Okay I’ll play along.
  • LEIA! It IS you. Such a boss.
  • Okay Georgie (Lucas) — If you were going to digitally replace a character, why not that blue rubbery elephant that belongs on Nick Jr.? Just a thought.
  • I supremely don’t like Jabba’s little muppet friend who cackles at everything. Little jerk. I’ve never wanted to kick a muppet so bad. Thanks for bringing up these new feelings, Star Wars.
  • Luke’s getting really, scary good at this Jedi mind-trick stuff.
  • The color of Luke’s outfit looks totally Dark Side. Cool.
  • The Rancor! I mean…Bantha? It’s a good thing this monster reaches for Luke in slow motion or else he’d never escape.
  • Half-naked guy gets emotional when the bantha dies. I think it was his long lost brother or something.

Fantastic quotes:

Han Solo: “How we doing?”

Luke: “Same as always.”

Han Solo: “That bad, huh?”

…and…

Jabba: “You will be executed immediately.”

Han Solo: “Good I hate long waits.”

  • The dialogue is so delectably quippy in this movie! I suddenly don’t hate Han like I should after his whole “I know” thing last movie.
  • The nodding scene! Cool turn around when Luke does that Jedi flip around in mid-air while falling gig. And a Wilhelm Scream!
  • They dispatched Boba Fett pretty well. And this is when it really hit me that Boba Fett never really did anything ever. He just sort of exists. Like, how does anyone even know his name? Does he have more than one line in the three original movies?
  • Yeah, Leia chokes Jabba! Get him girl! Show him who’s boss!

Leia

Let us henceforth replace all Slave Leia imagery with this badassery.

  • Another Wilhelm Scream for this scene? Now you’re just getting greedy.
  • When the Emperor appears in Evil HQ, he’s introduced in a really far away extreme wide shot. His posse enters in red, which really stands out impressive-like in a sea of white Stormtroopers.
  • When the scene returns to a wide shot, the Emperor’s posse is suddenly in dark blue. Strange. Did someone forget to colorize these things in the remastered version?

WS

  • Last of the Jedi? Why can’t Luke just train some new peeps, huh?
  • Yoda disappeared when he died. I have many existential questions about this.
  • “I don’t know, fly casual!” Oh, naturally –What Chewie is thinking, probably.
  • There hasn’t been a single arm dismemberment all movie! Luke’s Terminator-hand getting zapped was close, but no cigar.
  • Leia gains a new teddy bear friend on the planet Endor.
  • Red on one side of room, blue on the other. Great dichotomy between Vader and Emperor. Different types of evil juxtaposed, or interior decorator just getting really modern all up in here?
  • Chewie is always getting trapped or imprisoned. Like, seriously, wtf dude.
  • The Endor Lollipop Guild is there to great the main cast. They really like shiny things because they start bowing to C3PO.
  • Leia had at least 3 hairstyles so far this movie. Taking after her mother. We may be at war, but this girl doesn’t have to sacrifice fashion sense.
  • What? Leia could be a Jedi? Why doesn’t that movie exist!?
  • Vader wont even train Luke. Luke is going to have some seriously conflicting Daddy Issues now.
  • Han taps a guard on one shoulder while he dashes to the other side. So high school, but so Han.
  • Is the Emperor’s face digitally added back in to match the prequels? Because the lighting and coloration of the face don’t seem to match the hood around it. Just wondering.
  • Chewie gets his crossbow taken away so much, how does he keep getting it back? Does he ever even use it? Is it just for decoration so he has something that people can take away from him?
  • I think Han accidentally dumped a bad guy on a good guy when he picked him up and tossed him over the shoulder.
  • How did these teddy bears have time to rig all these woodland traps? Crafty buggers.
  • Leia holds up blaster. Han: “I love you.” Leia: “I know.” Perfect turn around for what was a crappy line in the previous movie.
  • Luke shows supreme morality in this film. Kinda proud of him. He’s no longer a whiny kid.
  • Vader took his sweet ass time having his change of heart. Oh never mind Luke, he’s just being zapped to death. Continue having your inner dilemma. He’ll wait.
  • During the ending celebration, the teddy bears use Stormtrooper helmets as a xylophone. Though I question the different tones present in the helmets, I’ll hand it to them; they really know how to stick it to the man.
  • Prequels-Anakin ghost appears alongside Obi-wan and Yoda. Eh, I’m actually kinda okay with this. Maybe because of the order I watched the movies in. I did, however, immediately watch the original ending so I could see the difference.

Teaching through example: Zootopia

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Plot/synopsis:

Zootopia is about go-getter bunny Judy Hopps, who defies her family’s wishes and fulfills her dream of becoming a police officer in the city of Zootopia. Only problem is: nobody takes this tiny bunny seriously, and she’s delegated to meter maid duties. She gets interested in the case of missing animals across the city and is determined to find an answer, even if at the expense of her job.

Even from the trailer, it was obvious that this would be a metaphor for females breaking the glass ceiling and working extra hard to prove themselves. The writers chose to make Judy a bunny: an innocent, small, traditionally-helpless creature that represents the stereotypes associated with the feminine. The rest of her fellow police officers are typical predators, or at least large formidable prey like her bison chief. Nobody expects this bunny to succeed.

That makes her all the more eager to prove herself. “Anybody can be anything” is this bunny’s attitude, and she lives it to the fullest. She is truly a positive role model for the children going to see this film.

What’s most important–besides the delightful humor, artful design, and excellent voice acting–are the overriding themes of racism and sexism leading to a frightening world. We see the sexism through Judy’s eyes, in her pursuit of her dreams. We see the racism between predators and prey, and especially when stereotyping a species (or ethnicity.) Our other main character is Nick Wilde, a fox, who is labeled as shifty and untrustworthy because of his species.

Judy proves herself better than most by not assuming the worst of Nick the fox. In fact, she rolls her eyes at her parents offering her “fox repellant” and sticks up for Nick in an ice cream shop that tries to deny him service.

There will be somebody, somewhere out there, that thinks this movie is preachy, and that it didn’t need to be made. I would disagree with that hypothetical person. This movie is important, and it shows themes that are integral to helping kids understand at an early age that just because someone is different from them, doesn’t mean they are bad.

Every generation has its teaching models like this.

Examples:

Ferngully (1992): A boy named Zak is brought down to fairy size to see the plight of the fairies when a logging company destroys their home. It’s been like, 20 years since I’ve seen this, but I figure it was as good an early example as any.

Doug (1991–1994): Hey 90’s kids, remember this Nick cartoon series? The characters were varying shades, from beige to purple to blue. These colors were never mentioned, and the stories were average woes befalling the preteen and teenager.

Cats Don’t Dance (1997): A movie that played heavily on themes of disclusion and racism, set in ’30s Hollywood. The animals were the minority figure. They were show people, but never the star. Just look at Miss Dimple’s infuriating golden locks and psycho stare and tell me she doesn’t represent institutionalized racism.

Milestone Comics and Static Shock (2000–2004): Milestone Comics was a company founded in 1993 whose titles were published by DC, and notably was more conscious of promoting minority superheroes. This eventually led to the creation of a cartoon series, Static Shock. The cartoon centered around a teenager named Virgil Hawkins who witnesses a gang war and through an accident ends up with superpowers. This show was an excellent balance between different races, and the traditional “love interest” girls were as smart and capable as the guys.

Judy-Hopps-in-Zootopia

Judy Hopps. Go get ’em, Tiger. Or um…bunny.

Why bother?

Why bother showing race issues through children’s media? I am so glad you asked, hypothetical reader.

I think we need this gentle reminder here and there that there are all different kinds of people out there,  and the world is simply a better place with inclusion and variety. Films, TV shows, and even printed media is so full of white and male representation as to think of it as the baseline for normal. That’s a problem.

Unfortunately, children absorb a lot of what they see and experience. If they keep seeing action movies with buff, white male protagonists, they can’t imagine women or minorities being the hero. If they see one “token” minority character who is present to take the brunt of the jokes, they might start thinking it’s fine to make fun of the different kid at school. Kids learn by example. Where parents leave gaps, the world fills it in. We just want to be sure they’re filling it in with the right stuff.

If we need to teach such lessons through cartoon animals, then so be it.

Spoilery Section:

This is the review section. Here there be spoilers. You have been warned.

This film plays on expectations, as much for the kids’ sake as for adults. Predators vs. prey is not always clear cut. In fact, SUPER DUPER SPOILER ALERT……. it’s the prey that is the villain (no doubt a fear response against a perceived threat from predators). There’s a lot of smart political, socioeconomics at play here. I’d liken it to how some countries feud with others in anticipation of an attack, thereby creating the problem to begin with, but I don’t want to get political here.

There are a few minor missteps with the racism theme that I think go a bit too far. One is where Clawhauser calls Judy a cute bunny, and she gets all uncomfortable and says how only bunnies can call each other cute. Then later, when Nick is playing with the Assistant Mayor’s hair/wool, Judy freaks out and tells him, “You can’t touch a sheep’s wool!” These are both real-world examples of complicated race-tensions that felt a little awkward in this movie. It could have been accomplished otherwise. Maybe someone else wouldn’t think so. I’d need a second opinion.

What might seem like a misstep (but is actually an integral plot point and teaching tool) is after Officer Hopps has solved the case, she says things that are taken out of context in a press conference. She infers that predators are naturally prone to becoming “savage” (aka dangerous), and although she is just repeating information another character told her about how the animals were going crazy, she says the wrong thing to a crowd of fearful reporters who all happen to be prey animals. Good intentions but poor execution lead to Judy accidentally starting an extreme racist reaction to predators in general. One of her buddies even loses his position on the police force because “nobody wants to see a predator when they walk into the ZPD.”

These moments echo so powerfully the irrational fears against minorities that are the root of the problem. Judy only realizes belatedly how her words were taken to the extreme, and resigns in protest.

Zootopia was such a fantastic movie that doesn’t have to talk down to kids to be enjoyable. If you haven’t gotten a chance yet, I suggest you go see it yourself.

Breaking the Fourth Wall vs. Suspension of Disbelief

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When you and I watch a movie, we are voyeurs, looking into the on-screen world of people who don’t know we’re watching. We can sympathize, laugh, and judge them while we’re safe from similar scrutiny.

In order to enjoy our on-screen fantasies, we also unknowingly engage in what’s called suspension of disbelief. This is the simple act of accepting what you see and forgetting what is real for the story to unfold. If we didn’t engage in this, there would be no fiction, because you wouldn’t be able to get engrossed in a story. Characters and plots must follow basic in-universe rules, but just about anything goes.

It is when the character  looks directly at the camera and speaks to the audience that something shifts. It’s wrong., unnatural. There’s something a little frightening about being called out by fictional characters. They know we’re here!

That’s breaking the fourth wall.

What is the fourth wall (and how do we break it)?

The fourth wall has its roots in theater. Scenes take place on stage with three real walls, created by the dimensions of the performing space or the set.  The fourth wall is the imaginary one that separates actors from the audience. The terminology carried over into the realm of film. The screen is the fourth wall, and characters usually shouldn’t break that invisible barrier.

“Breaking the fourth wall” is an example of a meta-reference, in which characters acknowledge they are part of a fictional story. The character might speak to the audience watching the film, or reference something they should have no earthly knowledge of, defying all logic of their fictional world.

As I see it, there are two distinct versions of breaking the fourth wall, both of which are fair game for this discussion. They are:

  • A character is aware that they are in a movie, or the plot suggests it.
  • A character speaks directly to the audience.

For reference, you can find video examples of Blazing Saddles, Supernatural, and Ferris Bueller here.

Television Examples

Television shows, especially comedies, get away with the occasional fourth wall break.

Supernatural is all about that kind of flexibility. The show has veers from horror in one episode to humor the next. It is not so surprising that we’ve seen two major plot points revolving around breaking the fourth wall.

In “The French Mistake,” Sam and Dean very literally break the fourth wall of a set and cross over into a parody of our own world, in which they are actors in a TV show called Supernatural. Real world trivia about the show is highlighted for comedic effect, such as the number of ‘67 Impalas used in production, rubber stunt weapons, and the fact that Jensen Ackles used to be on a soap opera.

A similar meta-storyline happens in “The Monster at the End of This Book.” Sam and Dean stumble upon a rare book series about their exploits; each novel representing an episode in the first couple seasons. It’s the work of Chuck the Prophet, but also pokes fun at the Supernatural fanbase.

Dean: (reading about Supernatural fanbase) There’s Sam Girls and Dean Girls and–what’s a slash fan?

Sam: As in Sam-slash-Dean. Together.

Dean: They do know we’re brothers, right?

Sam: Doesn’t seem to matter.

Futurama does this with their cancellation episode. In the made for DVD movie, “Bender’s Big Score,” the Professor talks about how their delivery company, the BOX NETWORK, cancelled them. When the off-screen Network execs are fired, the Professor exclaims they are: “Back on the air! Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship!”

In a more kid friendly example, we have Ultimate Spider-Man, where Peter Parker seems aware that kids are watching his show, and he will frequently stop the action on screen so he can explain what’s going on and make some funny quips. 

Feature Film Examples

A fourth wall break can satisfy dramatic and comedic moments by drawing the viewer further in, as if in a private joke.

In Deadpool, the entire film is from Wade Wilsons’s perspective, and he controls the flow of the action on screen and tells the backstory directly to us. He even makes remarks about actors that the characters in-world shouldn’t know about. When Professor X is mentioned, he asks: “McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing,” referencing the actors who’ve played the Professor in the X-Men movies. In the comics, he frequently makes mentions of being in a comic, much to the confusion of his co-stars.

deadpool

In Spaceballs, the Mel Brooks Star Wars spoof, Dark Helmet actually watches the movie they’re in, via instant VHS technology. There are other great examples from this film, such as when the Imperious Forces think they’ve captured the main characters, and the exasperated Captain says: “You idiots! These are not them. You’ve captured their stunt doubles!”

Mel Brooks is also famous for the final scenes of Blazing Saddles.  The goofy Western’s finale takes place at the movie studios where the film is being shot. The main characters watch the end of their own movie in Grauman’s Chinese Theater.

Another famous example is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Ferris tells his story directly to camera, letting us in on his adventure. We see things from his lighthearted point of view. According to Flavorwire.com, Ferris not only talks to the audience, but makes the audience his accomplice. Had the film been told from another character’s perspective, we would have seen a movie about an irresponsible liar, not some fun-loving guy having a “day off.”

The trope breaks the usual rules of storytelling. In these examples, we’re allowed to alter our typical suspension of disbelief because playing with our assumptions and revealing the fictional world is the punchline. They are subverting normal conventions for a trope that revels in the ridiculous.

Dramatic Effect

In a show like House of Cards (the American one), Kevin Spacey’s character will occasionally address the audience directly, letting us in on the secrets and upping the dramatic tension. We’re in on something big, this says. Stay tuned to see where it all leads.

house of cards

Even the promotional material feels like it’s staring deeply into your soul.

House of Cards, one of the first exclusive Netflix properties to blow viewers out of the water by encouraging binge watching, may be able to get away with fourth wall breakage due to its unusual format. We subconsciously expect something different, edgy and more introspective from a show that lives on the internet. If House of Cards had aired on regular television, comprised 42 minutes over several commercial breaks and had a 22 episode season run…we would have seen a very different show.

By contrast, the horror genre takes vicious delight in using our suspension of disbelief against us.  

At the end of Jeepers Creepers, the audience learns the fate of the main character when the monster looks directly into the camera with the main character’s eyes.  It’s a visceral fear, because up until this point there was no other connection to the audience. Used here, the viewer is meant to feel that their own life may be in jeopardy.

The ending of Paranormal Activity did something similar, when the demonic Katie kills her husband, then looks directly into the camera and attacks. The fear the viewer initially had for the characters on screen can become a fear for themselves.

When Used Poorly

Sometimes “breaking the fourth wall” is a term of derision, given to films that made a mistake in storytelling or tried too hard to be funny. It takes the viewer out of the moment, breaking their concentration on the story and reminding them they are watching a movie. Suspension of disbelief can be crucial to holding a viewer’s attention. Ruining that hold on the viewer can be detrimental to the film, and of course, its box office receipts.

Of course, a fourth wall break can come across as cheap and cheesy as the 3D effects added to B-level horror films. It can feel gimmicky. Some of those moments in which a villain looks directly at camera might appear to be a symptom of lazy screenwriting if it does not earn its place in the film.

So What?

What’s the take-away from this? Breaking the fourth wall is a convention best used sparingly in filmmaking, unless you’ve got a comedy that adapts well to the medium (Deadpool, Emperor’s New Groove). Fourth wall breaks, like Voice Over Narration, are best evaluated whether it will distract too much from the story. In some cases, it can be used to great comedic effect, or help dramatize a situation by drawing the viewer into the story. 

There’s an upcoming film called Hardcore Henry shot completely like a First Person Shooter. This might be an incredibly creative way to tell a story or the trope might get tiresome before half of the movie is finished. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Thoughts & Observations: Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

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  • This week in “TL;DR”: something something Death Star blown up…something something….Hoth…something something…okay we’re caught up.
  • In a world coated with powdered sugar, Luke is attacked by the Yeti from Ski Free.
  • Yeti_SkiFree

The resemblance is truly uncanny.

  • Han ditches the rest of the main characters because of course he does. Han and commitment don’t get along very well.
  • Uh-oh. Han thinks Leia has the hots for him because of that whole kiss thing the previous movie.
  • C3PO: “It’s Princess Leia, sir. She has been trying to reach you on the communicator.”
  • Han: “I turned it off. I don’t want to talk to her.”
  • George Lucas has predicted cell phone snubbing thirty years early.
  • The Leia/Han thing continues:
  • Han: “Then why are you following me? To give me a goodbye kiss?”
  • Leia: “I’d just as soon as a Wookie.”
  • “I can arrange that.”
  • This is the Star Wars equivalent of ‘friend-zoning’ and the butthurt macho man super concerned about it.
  • OMG Luke lightsabers the arm right off that Yeti. You ARE a Star Wars movie!
  • The beasts they ride (bantha?) alternate from retconned CGI, puppetry, and stop motion.
  • Yay Ben Kenobi’s ghost. Yoda mention!
  • Ah man, the gutted bantha scene! Recognizable Pop Culture Reference #1
  • Luke and Han are Commander and Captain, respectively. Main characters can’t possibly be just regular soldiers. Always a leader. Training not included.
  • Han to Leia: “Looks like you managed to keep me around a little longer.”
  • Really? Back to this? Can’t believe Han is one of those guys.
  • Angled cross wipe. For when a regular wipe just won’t do.
  • Vader can Force choke through video chat. ….maybe he should just call Luke? Problem solved. #Boss.
  • Dak the Pilot to Luke: “I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself.” You are sooo dead.
  • The Walker things are cool and iconic but why in a universe of flying spaceship battles would you ever design this thing? It can be defeated by TRIPPING! Bart Simpson could take on this thing!AT AT

Expected Conversation between AT-AT designer and apprentice:

AT-AT Designer: Man. Just look at this thing. There’s no way this could go wrong.

Apprentice: Uh, sir. This thing is extremely top heavy and might be out-matched by a taut line stretched across it’s feet. So…what do we do?

AT-AT Designer:….I suggest you polish up your resume.

  • Oh look, Dak is dead. Called it.
  • The little CGI walkers are distracting in every shot they are in, especially since they doesn’t appear in the other wide shots where they should be. Why retcon such silly things?
  • When the Millenium Falcon won’t start, Leia suggests: “Would it help if I got out and pushed?” Oh Leia. Never change.
  • Han says they can still out maneuver the bad guys, and with a funky little twist actually does some maneuvers.
  • George Lucas never missed an opportunity to throw a monster in whatever mire the characters are currently in. This time, something in the swamp Luke and R2D2 land in. Nothing really happens, though. Sorta just filler.
  • Ooh, glimpse of Vader’s real head when Whats-His-Face sees the helmet being lowered. Recognizable Pop Culture Reference #2.
  • Leia: Let go. Please.
  • Han: Don’t get excited!
  • This whole Han/Leia saga is playing out like an abusive relationship.
  • Puppet Yoda is pretty excellent, although it does somehow play into his nuisance personality when he first meets Luke. It’s all a play though, we know he’s being a jerk on purpose. Testing Luke n stuff.
  • The series of beeps and whistles let out by R2 when told to watch the camp can only be translated as expletives.
  • The Han and Leia Saga crops up again. “You like me because I’m a scoundrel.” How not to Woo a Woman. This shouldn’t have worked on Leia. I feel like this pairing is a square peg being forced into a round hole.
  • The Emperor from the prequels look amazingly similar. Excellent job, makeup artists. And amazing that the actor could pull off the same performance many years after the fact.
  • The bat-like creatures, Whynocks?– make the same sound that will later be heard in Jurassic Park.
  • “I have a bad feeling about this.” Natural precursor to doom.
  • Lucas must have realized light speed makes it too easy for his characters to escape danger, so he made sure it was broken in the Falcon for the entirety of the movie.
  • “Do or do not. There is no try.” Recognizable Pop Culture Reference #3.Yoda
  • Luke to Yoda: “You want the impossible!” He sulks off. You know, I thought we’d gone too long without Luke whining.
  • Guess that Captain Nita apology didn’t fly so well with the Big Boss. I mean really, in that earlier scene when he said he’d apologize to Vader, I knew he was slated for death.
  • The Millenium Falcon is going to wait until the bad guy’s ship releases the trash so they can “float away with the garbage.” Not a bad strategy (though of course, you gotta hope nobody notices a ship-sized piece of garbage out there) but what is Star Wars’ obsession with garbage chutes? More on this later.
  • Obi-Wan’s Ghost: “That boy is our last hope.”
  • Yoda: “No. There is another.” Leia? He’s talking about Leia, right? Can she spearhead the third movie?
  • Not much setup of Lando before he betrays the others. This is why the internet hates you. Recognizable Pop Culture Reference #4.
  • Leia (sappy eyes): I love you.
  • Han: I know.
  • Could he be any more of a jerk?
  • Maybe Han’s asshat nature in this movie is due to the actor not wanting to continue on with the Star Wars movies.
  • I love the Cloud City design. White, sterile yet friendly looking spaces that secretly hide the dirty dealings done by Lando.
  • Ending battle between Luke and Darth Vader is an immediate switch from the bright cheery interiors of Cloud City to this dungeon like area, all dark shadows and red and blue smoky lighting. It’s a nice visual surprise and beautifully rendered, especially with all the leading lines in the scenery visually separating Luke and Vader.
  • Vader to Luke: “You are not a Jedi yet.” (Exactly. We need at least one more movie)
  • Lando=good? Calrissian spends the rest of the movie redeeming himself. Pop culture seems to forget that.
  • Luke had one too many hands for this movie.
  • Luke is disposed of via a chute…like garbage. Seriously, what is with these movies and garbage? You’ve got that sludgy garbage compactor that they were all escaped into in A  New Hope and Han escapes notice from the Empire by mingling amongst the garbage and now Luke escapes via what can only be a garbage chute. Is there a theme here? Is this like all the de-armed bodies that exist in the Star Wars universe, or am I reading too much into it?

Only one more classic film before I get to Rey. Tally-ho.

Thoughts & Observations: Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)

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It is time. Time to continue at the beginning. Are you ready?

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope 

Alternate titles: None needed from me. It already has plenty of those.

  • Spike has returned to watch with me. So this leads me to believe he’s a Star Wars purist.
  • Feels somewhat wrong to put new logos on an classic movie. Oh there’s the old 20th Century logo. You halfway redeemed yourself. And now the modern Lucasfilm one. I’m so confused.
  • Most of my Star Wars references have originally come from Spaceballs. There. I said it.
  • “There’ll be no escape for the Princess this time.” Hey, cheer up C3PO, you Negative Nelly.
  • C3PO frets about being sent to the spice mines or being smashed. Cool as a cucumber, R2 just rolls away.
  • The Stormtroopers are kind enough to set their lasers to stun for Leia. Leia likely set hers to KILL STORMTROOPER. She don’t take no prisoners. Mostly because she’s going to be one.
  • Darth Vader’s breathing apparatus is not timed to work around the dulcet tones of James Earl Jones. He’s breathing heavily and talking at the same time. Which, I guess if you figure he’s half droid at this point anyway, isn’t a major concern. So why did I have to mention it…
  • R2D2 throws constant shade at C3PO. I love it. C3PO needs to be taken down a notch sometimes.
  • Ah so the weird transition wipes started here. Works in the old movies, not so much in the new ones (prequels).
  • C3PO is rapidly becoming my least favorite character. When he insists on walking a particular way on Tatooine, and inevitably goes the wrong way, he loudly complains that R2 tricked him to go that way. Dude. No one can hear you complain. Save it for later.
  • Double-transition wipe! I get it Lucas. It’s super modern to do transition wipes!
  • R2 is attacked by the Oompa Loompas (Jawas). I’ve heard it said before, but were these guys really waiting around for droids to go through that particular canyon…in the desert? Not the best business model.
  • R2 freaks out as he sees droids that could be his great ancestors. “Am I in heaven?” he bleeps, “Or the bad place?”
  • All these alien creatures were added in the modern movies era and seem out of place. So…what did these scenes originally look like without them?
  • http://www.dvdactive.com/editorial/articles/star-wars-the-changes-part-one.html
    http://www.dvdactive.com/editorial/articles/star-wars-the-changes-part-one.html

    Aunt Beru calls out: “Luke! Luke! Let’s make sure everyone knows you’re the main character, not that totally capable Princess facing down Lord Vader. Cue your theme song, will you?”

  • R2 definitely sabotaged another R2 unit. You conniving little genius. R2 is rapidly becoming my favorite character.
  • What kind of harvest could Luke’s family be getting in the middle of the desert? They have no fields. Do they harvest dust?
  • Aunt and Uncle have a heart-to-heart about their problem-nephew. “Luke’s not much of a farmer.” “He’s got too much of his father in him.” “That’s what I’m afraid of.” FORESHADOWING.
  • Spike is now so bored with Luke that he’s growling at nothing out the window.
  • Luke’s ambivalent about the Sand People. First it’s all, “It’s too dangerous out there with the Sand People around.” Then he’s all, “There’s Sand People? Let’s go have a look!”
  • Obi-Wan: “Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.” … So….only when not trying to kill main characters, right?
  • The added CG is very distracting in wide shots especially. Everything leading up to the cantina scene is so heavily altered and CG’d.
  • Bartender is racist against droids. Jerk.
  • Limb chopping is business as usual in this bar and in these movies. The “wanted criminals” who make a point of informing Luke they don’t like him get a Kenobi to the arm.
  • Obi-Wan’s one weakness: haggling. Han Solo: “I’ll take you for 10,000.” Obi-Wan: “How about 17,000?” He didn’t even try his Jedi Mind Trick!
  • I want to make fun of Obi-Wan’s “I know a few maneuvers” as his ship lists lazily to the left…but Family Guy beat me to it.
  • Vader feels Obi-Wan’s presence aboard his ship. The bromance is strong with this one.
  • Luke and Han take turns being the whiny one.
  • When they masquerade as Stormtroopers, Luke says, “I can’t see a thing in this helmet!” Which explains a lot…
  • I absolutely LOVE Han’s faux pas as he tries to pretend that everything is fine after their sneak attack. He asks the guy on the other line, “How are you?”
  • I’m half convinced that C3PO is dirty in all these scenes so that the camera can obtain close-ups on him without seeing reflections of film equipment.
  • When Leia is rescued, she obviously gets nominated as the brains of the operation.
  • Stormtrooper 1: “Do you know what’s going on?” “Maybe it’s another drill.” …. Can you imagine the bad guys staging safety drills?
  • Stormtrooper: “What was that?….Must be nothing.” NPC’s in videogames must have been modeled after these guys.
  • Wilhelm Scream! It happens when Luke and Leia are trapped and shoot Stormtroopers off a ledge above them. Fantastic.
  • Did Obi just get himself killed on purpose? What was with that weird little smile to Luke? Is this his sick way of giving the kid motivation? Why must you follow the Hero’s Journey so closely?
  • C3PO: “Help. I think I’m melting. This is all your fault.” R2D2 beeping: “Bitch please.”
  • We expect this random new guy to lead a battalion of Rebel fighters but he pronounces”Leia” as “Leeuh.” We’re doomed.
  • Luke to Han: “We could use a good pilot like you.” Yeah, you’re right. They’d never expect him to list lazily to the left.
  • Random friend of Luke: “They’ll never stop us!” Yeah that guy is so dead now that he said that.  Later… “I’m hit!” I told you. I freaking told you.
  • “Shields to the front!” Which means the bad guys will get you from behind. Shoot. In the rear. I’m done.
  • Vader, in his pimpmobile, chasing Luke: “The Force is strong with this one.” He hasn’t even used it in the battle yet!
  • Han Solo cowboys his way into the scene.
  • 3 Rebel fighters left…where the heck were they when Luke’s buddy was blasted to bits?!
  • C3PO would gladly donate his circuits to help R2. Where was that loyalty before?
  • Finally, the obligatory awards ceremony to close the film. Leia hands out medals that won’t go with any of their ensembles. The other 2 fighters were lame so they don’t get awards. Stay in school, kids!

I was curious to see how things had changed between the original 1977 film and the modern version I watched. And I was mind boggled. There’s not even one modernized version. There’s at least two (1997 and 2004 AND a slightly different Blu-Ray version). I urge you to take two minutes to Google: Star Wars IV original vs remastered.

For fun, a video series by YouTuber HelloGreedo details the differences between the original Star Wars and the re-made, CG-added version of Star Wars IV: A New Hope. True to form, I started with Part 4 of 7.

This article is another great resource to see the before-and-afters of many scenes.

Also, update after some research: Luke’s uncle is a moisture farmer!? So why does his crop have “seasons?”

I also now understand Han Shot First. This …this is interesting. I may even get into the ethics of changing classic films to “fix” errors at a later date.

Thoughts & Observations: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

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The plot thickens! Mmm plot…

Possible Alternate titles: Darth Vader Begins

  • The TL;DR intro clearly is to cover scenes that the director just didn’t feel like shooting.
  • At least they didn’t cheap out on the “War!” part of the intro. A daring battle between good and bad. Young Anakin and his Master Obi-Wan pilot their little ships thorugh clouds of enemy ships. “Missiles! Pull up!” And of course instead of up they go to the side.
  • R4 meets a heroes death; decapitated and screaming.
  • The Destroyers (little pod things with gun-wielding arms) definitely look like characters I’ve fought against in video games.
  • Anakin and Obi in the elevator. Elevator freezes. Obi: “Did you press the stop button?” Ani: “No, did you?” C’MON GUYS. The fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders and you have this exchange? Ani, were you expecting Obi to be like, “Just kidding bro, you should have seen your face!”?
  • With the oil and fire trick setting enemy droids ablaze, R2D2 has become the most badass character in this movie.
  • Except for Episode II, in which we have a bit of a reprieve from this, Jedis appear to be unable to cross or enter a room without doing a flip.
  • Anakin dresses all in black all the time, while other Jedis are usually in neutral, earthy tones. Subtley in the production design department. Evidence that Anakin is Going Dark Side #4.
  • Dookie’s hands are chopped off! His hands! What is with Star Wars and hand chopping?!
  • Wilhelm Scream when we return to seeing the fight. I should have marked these on the other ones…
  • Our Jedis are trapped in a light bubble that looks suspiciously like the field that keeps Zod, Ursa, and Non at bay in Superman (1978), and Superman II (1980).
    starwars.wikia.com
    megomuseum.com
  • Padme Amidala looks resplendent in LEIA BUNS. I count her hair/costume change at around 6. It  was a lighter movie costume-and-hair-wise for her.
  • Padme is also preggers, so now Anakin can finally go Dark Side without upsetting the space-time continuum.
  • Anakin has prophetic dream that Padme will die in childbirth. Reason for Anakin to Go Dark Side #4.
  • Noticeably, General Grievous has a Darth Vader-like wheeze.
  • There is DEFINITELY a Tarzan yell in the Wookie fight scene.
  • Every time I hear “May the force be with you”  I always expect to hear “And also with you.” But that would be too overtly religious. Hollywood probably had to stop that out.
  • Obi-Wan’s Komodo dragon/feathered lizard mount definitely leads my internal poll on what creature I’d love to see in real life. It’s cool and dragony, has a coyote bark, and is low in gas mileage.
  • Obi-Wan drops down behind the bad guys. Nobody notices him, so he happily announces “Hello there!” Hilarious moment for sure, but I couldn’t help thinking how he had plenty of time and the element of surprise on his side to behead Grievous right then and there.
  • Grievous wields 4 lightsabers and behaves like a video game boss. And thus, he must be defeated like one, one hand at a time (Seriously, what’s with the hands?)
  • Also, in the tone of CinemaSins, “The Force is a d*ck to hands” DING!
  • These prequels have such weird pacing. They cut right from Obi’s death-defying battle to ….a calm and collected Jedi counsel. I imagine a frantic writer in a Star Wars writer’s room, pulling his hair out saying, “No time for easing into another scene, people, we’ve got to move, move, move!”
  • Chancellor Palpatine is obviously evil. Like, seriously, is he even hiding it?
  • What came first, the Jedi or the lightsaber? Because according to Episode I, only a Jedi can wield a laser sword. So…have there always been Jedi? Or did someone create a useless handle for a sword once, got all disappointed, and then suddenly the knights of the Round Table..I mean Republic were born?
  • “I’m tired of these MF’n Siths on this MF’n Council!” –Samuel L, probably.
  • Anakin doesn’t get to choose his evil name? Seriously, that should be Perk #1 of going to the Dark Side–picking your own villainous alter ego.
  • Chancellor Palpatine transforms into a gross live-action version of those stop-motion California raisins from the 1980s. Handsome devil. So he immediately goes from looking like a somewhat normal guy with a stunt double into an obviously evil, malicious dark lord…that looks like What’s His Face from the earlier movie. Is this what happens to them all? Dude, Vader, check out your potential future.
  • When the Stormtrooper-lookin’ dude chats with Palpatine via hologram, he should appear to Palpatine as having to no han, since he’s holding the communication device in that hand. Which fits with Star Wars unsung War Against Hands policy.
  • The betrayal of the Stormtrooper-lookin’ guys on all our good guys is so well executed, it’s kind of beautiful.
  • Anakin. Tell me you did not just kill a room full of children. TELL ME YOU DIDN’T.
  • The editor just used a blinds-wipe transition, like freaking Windows Movie Maker. Seriously?
  • Kinda surprised Anakin’s lightsaber is still blue when he KILLED A ROOM FULL OF FREAKING CHILDREN. …ahem. I mean, don’t they act as mood rings, and change colors with the bearer’s allegiance? Maybe that’s dumb, but I’m sorry, my mind is clouded because ANAKIN KILLED A ROOM FULL OF FREAKING CHILDREN.
  • When Anakin Force chokes Padme, I have to wonder–Did he forget his whole reason for going Dark Side in the first place? It was to save her and their baby(ies)! Not this rebellion against Jedis, or to continue the war or what-have-you.
  • The lightsaber battle between Obi and Vader is so awesome…. they are surrounded by lava, literally melting everything they stand on. Epic.
  • Obi-Wan: “It’s over. I have the high ground.” Both moral, and physical!
  • Anakin must want to show off, because he doesn’t lose one hand (previous movie) but now both hands and his legs! He always was a bit of a show off.
  • Anakin is the reason Padme dies! I think I knew it would happen (him being the cause of her death somehow) but I didn’t expect it in this order (aka him going evil before her death).
  • Vader’s iconic helmet is lowered, he rises a new, half machine man. And James Earl Jones’ incredible voice comes out. And he asks for Padme. Holy crap, the feels. Why are their feels here? HE KILLED THOSE CHILDREN.
  • Also, the Chancellor is all happy about Vader’s grief. Dude. Vader. Look at that smug bastard. Realize your horrible mistake.

I did not expect these feels, you guys. Now it’s onwards to the classic films (IV being a re-watch, but still necessary after seeing the lead up to it).

Thoughts & Observations: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

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There’s not a ton of clone attacking in this Attack of the Clones.

Possible Alternate Titles: How I Met Your Mother.

  • The John Williams music makes reading fun! I mean, I like to read anyway, but think of the children.
  • “I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all.” Exact words you should say if you want an explosion to happen.
  • “Y’know, My lady, Count Dooku was a jedi.” I misheard this, and thought he said “My Lady Count Dooku.” Where are the lady Jedis? Do I have to wait until Episode VII? (I might also have heard “Count Dookie”)
  • Theory that Jar Jar knows more than he lets on still going strong. He appears at the elevator right before Obi and Ani walk through, then acts surprised to see them. I’m on to you, Binks.
  • Forced love story between Amidala and Anakin in 3…2….1…. The word “intoxicating” is worrisome. Are we sure Ani isn’t just her needy stalker? He was like, 8 the last time she saw him. That’s creepy.
  • Obi-Wan prefers hanging from a tiny flying robot to Anakin driving. Damn teenage drivers.
  • Obi denies the offer of death sticks (aka cigarettes). This has been a Public Service Announcement from George Lucas. Carry on.
  • Saying something doesn’t exist (a planet in this case) in a movie universe almost guarantees that it does. Space Aunt May is lying.
  • Anakin’s first kiss is cut short by Amidala’s hesitation and a sudden stop to the soundtrack music. Reason #4 for Anakin to go Dark Side.
  • Possible Kiss attempt #2 story-blocked by a cross swip in the editing. That’s Reason #5 if I ever saw one.
  • Anakin takes Amidala’s space-pear and only shares a small piece. Evidence the kid is going Dark Side #3.
  • I question the physics of lightsaber battles in the rain.
  • The space ship sound effects in the asteroid belt were definitely derived from Indy car races.
  • Shmi Skywalker is gone. Reason #6.
  • There are a lot of wipe transitions in this movie.
  • Shmi dies. Reason #7. But at least he exacts some fiendishly awesome vengeance.
  • “You’re not all powerful.” “Well I should be.” Cue Hans Zimmer soundtrack. This is…Darth Vader Begins.
  • Amidala is a boss in this movie. She’s the one to decide to save Obi-Wan.
  • R2 gives C3PO the business. Sassy little robot. He’s the pants in this relationship.
  • Amidala is the only one with a lockpick when they’re all being sentenced to death. Riding a freaking alligator-beast. LIKE A BOSS.
  • HEY LOOK, LADY JEDIS!
  • “Such a drag.” “I’m beside myself.” “Have I got my head on straight?” C3PO must have fried some circuits when he misplaced his head. He’s only able to speak in puns.
  • Kid of Fett (mini-me clone) holds the helmet after his “dad” dies. Boba Fett Begins.
  • Holy crap, that’s the Death Star they’re designing! Wait a second, you mean Vader didn’t come up with it? Such a poser.
  • Anakin has disposable light saber powers.
  • ARM SLICE-ATION. Count Dookie feels bad for a moment, because now Anakin will have a tough time trying on shirts.
  • Why does Yoda need a cane? He was doing backflips a second ago.
  • Darth Vader theme! Too soon?
  • Awww, Anakin marries Padme Amidala anyway. Reason #4-5 obliterated.
  • But, you do see he has a robot hand now right? No good guys get a robot hand unless they’re Robo-Cop, or reprogrammed death machines from the future. Our star crossed lovers will have to find out the hard way in Episode III.

Thoughts & Observations: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)

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Intro: I’ve been wanting to do something like this for some time.

I’m a scifi/fantasy aficionado, but even I haven’t seen a number of integral films and series associated with those genres. Now I’m going to start watching these movies I’d never found the time to watch before….and list my thoughts and observations as I watched the movie.

A juggernaut of a franchise, the Star Wars movies never held too much interest for me. During college I finally watched the original, Episode IV – A New Hope, to learn about the Heroes Journey as used in screenwriting.

Note: I’m watching in chronological order because I’m more interested in seeing the older movies, so I’m making myself watch the prequels.

So, let me dip my toes into Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace

(Alternate titles: Anakin’s Wacky Adventures; Jar Jar Binks’ Rise to Power; C3Po’s Gone Wild)

 

  • My puppy Spike and I started watching the movie together. We got halfway through the intro when Spike got bored, stepped on the Playstation controller, and rewound it. I guess he wanted to see that STAR WARS logo splashed across the screen again. He left me to go bother the cat.
  • I have a feeling some people in the movie theater were all TL;DR with them Star Wars intros.

 

  • The infamous Jar Jar Binks makes an appearance. The almost universally hated character I knew about before, and since my friend Kelly defends the poor guy, I figure I’ll give the lovable doofus a chance.
  • Must keep reminding myself that the visual effects were good for the late 90s.
  • The fan theory that Jar Jar Binks is secretly an evil Sith dude is starting to make sense. Send help.
  •  “There’s always a bigger fish.” aka Screenwriting 101: How to get your characters out of a situation when they are hopelessly outmatched.
  • Spike starts growling and barking at R2D2. Wonder if the dog can speak Droid. Also wondering if all these people responding to R2 as if they can understand him are acting like cat owners who respond to cat’s meows with “Yeah, I know!”
  •  
    • Reason #1 for Little Anakin to go Dark Side: Life as a slave under this creepy flying lizard dude.
    • R2D2 tells C3PO that he’s naked. I’m starting to think that little bugger can be a jerk sometimes. I LIKE IT.
    • “There’s something about this boy…” Uh, Yeah, because he’s going to be Darth Vader.
    • “I find that Jar Jar creature to be odd.” Uh, yeah, because he’s secretly an evil Jedi Sith dude.
    • Why did this cute little kid have to go evil?
    • Also, acting coach for Anakin needs a few lessons. Some of his dialogue is so halting and unsure, I’m almost certain he’s being fed lines through an earpiece.
    • Reason #2 for Anakin to go Dark Side: Fricken cheaters during the Pod Race. Seriously, why does Crawfish guy (Sebulba) think he needs to screw up an 8 year old’s racer? Isn’t being 8 years old fact enough that he’s not going to win? (Note: in the movie universe, usually the main character wins anyway, no matter how ridiculous it is).
    • Also, WHERE IS HIS MOTHER–oh in the stands. Good mothering means your mom might not dissuade you from doing a hilariously reckless act, but she will watch you do it. Gotta let the little bird fly, Momma.
    • Kid is obviously on performance enhancing drugs, or using autopilot. CAN YOU NAVIGATE THROUGH ALL THOSE CANYONS WHEN YOU’RE BARELY LOOKING STRAIGHT AHEAD? That blatant cheating is Evidence of Kid Going Dark Side #1.
    • Points to Jar Jar. If he wasn’t there, messing things up and being hilariously awkward, this movie would be too serious with Mr. Qui-Gon commanding attention in droll tones. Clearly he rebelled against this Jedi lifestyle, because after this movie he turns into Taken Liam Neeson. True story.
    • Anakin leaves the planet without finishing building C3P0, and casually mentions that the droid, once his friend thing, is now going to be sold. What a callous…. Okay, Evidence Of Kid Going Evil #2.
    • Queen Amidala is way too monotone. If she enthused over anything, her makeup would crack.
    • Also, I’m super distracted by her lip makeup. That red dot is so vivid but I feel like I’m supposed to entranced by her fake dimples instead. Wait, what’s happening again?
    • Queen Amidala’s costume changes are sudden and extreme.
    • Reason #3 for Anakin to go Dark Side: Hoighty-Toity Jedi masters won’t let him into their clique. That’s soo high school, you guys.
    • I kinda wish I kept track of Queen Amidala’s costume changes now. There’s another one! Costume designers were kept busy by this little lady.
    •  And another one! Seriously, with all these affairs of state and death-defying odds, you’d think she’d scrimp on the overly decorative hair styles for once. That sh*t’s gotta take a day to style
    • I truly cannot tell the difference between Amidala and her hand maiden (Padme, right?). During that whole switcheroo scene, I’m just thinking, “Nah, you played me. That’s your hand maiden being a boss protecting her Queen.” But uh…yeah so that was confusing. But then I find out that Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley looked so much alike than even Portman’s mother had trouble telling them apart, so I guess I’m not alone on this. (Thanks for the trivia, IMDB!)
    • The Queen in plain clothes talks with a little more personality. WHAT IF THE MONOTONE WAS BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T CRACK HER ROYAL MAKEUP?
    • Darth Maul is sliced and diced. Kinda thought that dude would last through the prequels.Now he doesn’t even last through a classic villain speech. Does he even talk? (3 lines. Thanks IMDB!)
    • Annnnd one more costume change by the Queen and it’s over.

THE END…?