This is it. I’ve reached the end of the prequels, the end of the original three (The Holy Trinity of Wars-in-Stars) and I now look forward to the modern take on the seventh installment. It’s been quite a ride folks.
Alternate Titles: Last of the Jedi?
- Today in TL;DR ….another Death Star? Like, the bad guys are ripping off their own idea? Okay, I’ll play along.
- Dude is obviously more afraid of the Emperor than of Vader, which means Vader is doing something wrong.
- R2D2 and C3PO look like they’re going to see the Wizard. If the Wizard was a large, slothful, disgusting slug-thing.
- R2 somehow has the fine ability of lying his way into Jabba’s clutches to get him and Threepio exactly where they need to be, which begs the question: how can everyone understand his random assortment of beeps?!
- Han Solo. “He’s still in carbonite!” Until Ford gets a pay raise, I assume.
- Added CG characters are unnecessary in this whole dance scene. Even the dance scene seems like something added in the 90s/2000s as unnecessary movie-lengthening fodder.
- Green dancer lady gets to meet the Rancor!
- Jabba comments on the bounty hunter who brings in Chewie. “This bounty hunter is my kind of scum.” Jabba really looks like a mob boss in this scene.
- Also, that bounty hunter is very dainty. Could that be Leia in disguise? Please be Leia.
- I don’t know about you guys, but Lando is lookin’ mighty stylish in that helmet.
- Hibernation sickness=weakness and blindness. Okay I’ll play along.
- LEIA! It IS you. Such a boss.
- Okay Georgie (Lucas) — If you were going to digitally replace a character, why not that blue rubbery elephant that belongs on Nick Jr.? Just a thought.
- I supremely don’t like Jabba’s little muppet friend who cackles at everything. Little jerk. I’ve never wanted to kick a muppet so bad. Thanks for bringing up these new feelings, Star Wars.
- Luke’s getting really, scary good at this Jedi mind-trick stuff.
- The color of Luke’s outfit looks totally Dark Side. Cool.
- The Rancor! I mean…Bantha? It’s a good thing this monster reaches for Luke in slow motion or else he’d never escape.
- Half-naked guy gets emotional when the bantha dies. I think it was his long lost brother or something.
Han Solo: “How we doing?”
Luke: “Same as always.”
Han Solo: “That bad, huh?”
Jabba: “You will be executed immediately.”
Han Solo: “Good I hate long waits.”
- The dialogue is so delectably quippy in this movie! I suddenly don’t hate Han like I should after his whole “I know” thing last movie.
- The nodding scene! Cool turn around when Luke does that Jedi flip around in mid-air while falling gig. And a Wilhelm Scream!
- They dispatched Boba Fett pretty well. And this is when it really hit me that Boba Fett never really did anything ever. He just sort of exists. Like, how does anyone even know his name? Does he have more than one line in the three original movies?
- Yeah, Leia chokes Jabba! Get him girl! Show him who’s boss!
Let us henceforth replace all Slave Leia imagery with this badassery.
- Another Wilhelm Scream for this scene? Now you’re just getting greedy.
- When the Emperor appears in Evil HQ, he’s introduced in a really far away extreme wide shot. His posse enters in red, which really stands out impressive-like in a sea of white Stormtroopers.
- When the scene returns to a wide shot, the Emperor’s posse is suddenly in dark blue. Strange. Did someone forget to colorize these things in the remastered version?
- Last of the Jedi? Why can’t Luke just train some new peeps, huh?
- Yoda disappeared when he died. I have many existential questions about this.
- “I don’t know, fly casual!” Oh, naturally –What Chewie is thinking, probably.
- There hasn’t been a single arm dismemberment all movie! Luke’s Terminator-hand getting zapped was close, but no cigar.
- Leia gains a new teddy bear friend on the planet Endor.
- Red on one side of room, blue on the other. Great dichotomy between Vader and Emperor. Different types of evil juxtaposed, or interior decorator just getting really modern all up in here?
- Chewie is always getting trapped or imprisoned. Like, seriously, wtf dude.
- The Endor Lollipop Guild is there to great the main cast. They really like shiny things because they start bowing to C3PO.
- Leia had at least 3 hairstyles so far this movie. Taking after her mother. We may be at war, but this girl doesn’t have to sacrifice fashion sense.
- What? Leia could be a Jedi? Why doesn’t that movie exist!?
- Vader wont even train Luke. Luke is going to have some seriously conflicting Daddy Issues now.
- Han taps a guard on one shoulder while he dashes to the other side. So high school, but so Han.
- Is the Emperor’s face digitally added back in to match the prequels? Because the lighting and coloration of the face don’t seem to match the hood around it. Just wondering.
- Chewie gets his crossbow taken away so much, how does he keep getting it back? Does he ever even use it? Is it just for decoration so he has something that people can take away from him?
- I think Han accidentally dumped a bad guy on a good guy when he picked him up and tossed him over the shoulder.
- How did these teddy bears have time to rig all these woodland traps? Crafty buggers.
- Leia holds up blaster. Han: “I love you.” Leia: “I know.” Perfect turn around for what was a crappy line in the previous movie.
- Luke shows supreme morality in this film. Kinda proud of him. He’s no longer a whiny kid.
- Vader took his sweet ass time having his change of heart. Oh never mind Luke, he’s just being zapped to death. Continue having your inner dilemma. He’ll wait.
- During the ending celebration, the teddy bears use Stormtrooper helmets as a xylophone. Though I question the different tones present in the helmets, I’ll hand it to them; they really know how to stick it to the man.
- Prequels-Anakin ghost appears alongside Obi-wan and Yoda. Eh, I’m actually kinda okay with this. Maybe because of the order I watched the movies in. I did, however, immediately watch the original ending so I could see the difference.